The House of Mourning
Not much more than three months ago, my bride and I welcomed our 5th child home and celebrated in the house of feasting. You can read about this experience at your leisure (Click Here). Part of the illustration came from conversations I had in the past with Grandy and Grandpa Zimmerman as they welcomed their five kids home. Earlier this month, Grandy – Nancy Dorothy Kerber – Zimmerman passed from this life into eternity at 92 years old. She shared nearly 70 of those years with my Grandpa. What an interesting Thanksgiving this produced as my family wandered back into the house of mourning!
The “house of mourning” is a nod to King Solomon’s wisdom found in the book of Ecclesiastes.
A good name is better than fine perfume,
and the day of death better than the day of birth.
It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart.
Frustration is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.
I first encountered the house of morning at 14 years old, shortly after my dad passed away from cancer. At the time, I wondered how it could be better to be comforted sorrow, heartache, and morning? I felt like an orphan with no identity, no purpose, and no value. The lessons cut deep during that season. As a result, I spent a lot of time with my church family who reminded me that God is a father to the fatherless and there is a promise of a future yet to come if we choose to accept the free gift that provide the keys to the Kingdom. I also spent a lot of time with Grandy and Grandpa learning about the Zimmerman family and what we value. Although I was grieving my loss, both of my grandparents were grieving the loss of their second son – the older son succumbed to his own disease when he was 15. They were using the house of mourning to firmly plant the Zimmerman legacy in me, and I was soaking it up as a sponge.
Here we are today with a portion of that legacy fully transferred. I learned the value of holding my tongue from lashing out at my bride. I’ve learned to see beauty in pointillist art that takes serious effort (A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte) while she served as a docent at the Art Institute of Chicago. I learned the value of instrumental music through her love of classical music. I learned to love history through books and the various field and discovery museums we explored in the area. I learned to love the appeal of the open bodies of water in our area (ish) as we fished and swam in Lake Michigan, floated through the numerous locks of the Erie Canal and Rideau Canal, and relaxed along the beaches of Grand Haven. I learned that there is value in having the entrepreneurial spirit which was passed down through my great grandfather (Edward Kerber via progressive matrix printing), to my grandmother (Nancy Zimmerman via shoe modeling and sales) and my grandfather (Frank Zimmerman via commercial printing and advertising), and to my dad (Daniel Zimmerman via electronics repair). Most importantly, I leaned that life is valuable only in the context of your own mortality and the legacy you want to leave behind – people will always be more valuable than things.
Questions to Ponder
Although nobody has any pleasure in considering their own mortality, death has an impeccable ability to strip us down to our bare essentials. Instead of focusing on money or disciplines exclusively, I’d like you to consider King Solomon’s words again from the book of Ecclesiastes.
Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come:
As fish are caught in a cruel net,
or birds are taken in a snare,
so people are trapped by evil times
that fall unexpectedly upon them.
If King Solomon wisdom does not draw out good questions to ponder initially, consider these questions as a starting point.
How will you spend eternity?
How do those whom you love perceive what you value the most?
Don’t get defensive. Instead just listen and adjust your life accordingly if you don’t like their answers.
In what ways do your bank account and actions show that you value people more than things?
What do you want your legacy to be?
What will your spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and friends say about you at your funeral?
To a life – your life – well lived!