Seeking Peace, Interrupting Fear
On Memorial Day, I took my girls out to the lake to experience the thrill of sailing for the first time. The wind was absolutely perfect. The lake was slightly stirred up but not too much for a little Sunfish! This particular Sunfish is the original Scare–D–Cat: the first boat my Grandma and Grandpa Zimmerman purchased in their early seasons of marriage. To say the least it has seen many hours on the water in various conditions. The conditions of the water do not matter much: the skill of the captain does!
The disposition of each of my daughters were drastically different. If you have not heard me say it before, my oldest daughter is a thrill seeker. At five years old, she rarely gives into fear. My youngest daughter, however, takes a more cautious approach. When I invited my youngest to go sailing, before she saw the lake, she was excited that the three of us were going out together. When we arrived at the lake, she was still intrigued but getting nervous. That quickly changed when she placed her feet into the cockpit footwell while I crawled onto the stern by the tiller to shove off. By this time, she was scared as the small hull rocked from side to side with each move I made.
With the spar fully hoisted and the boom set, we raced away from the dock. The speed and pitch of the vessel didn’t sink my youngest daughter’s fears or tears. I turned the tiller and released the sheet to go with the wind hoping to smooth the ride. No change in her disposition. Finally, I invited her to set with me. She quickly shot towards me. Once she was situated, her disposition changed. Still apprehensive, she was much more at peace. As I rotated the tiller to quarter the wind and the waves, we all shifted to the windward side of the cockpit. The waves were slapping the bottom of the hull and the water was splashing us all. The noise in the cockpit was exciting! I had two girls that were ecstatic and giggling! We continued our time the water for the better part of an hour before heading back to shore to exchange the girls for my oldest son.
Intriguing enough, I assumed that the fear experienced in the beginning of our time was going to overshadow my youngest daughter’s excitement after she was sitting with me. I was WRONG! Later in the evening after supper, she asked if we could go back out sailing. It was my turn to be excited. In a little less than a week, we went out again. This time, she was more than content to move around the cockpit at her leisure – on the windward side of course. With some experience and guidance, she overcame her fear!
It is interesting, we all at times are just like my daughter. We are thrilled at the prospects of doing something new even if we really don’t understand what it is we will be experiencing. When we are met with the reality of the environment and what is required of us, we let fear dictate our response and reaction. When we experience that fear, we have two choices. The first option – turn around and run as fast as we can. The second option is to find an experienced guide – one who knows how to sail through the rough seas with skill and efficiency – to show us how to thrive within the experience. The guide is responsible for interrupting your fear, offering encouragement, and inviting you thrive in your environment.
Questions to Ponder
What experience or process are you too afraid to start?
How does your fear create conflict between you and your spouse, children, or friends?
Who do you know that has passed through the same fear you are experiencing?
What is holding you back from asking that person to be a guide? Your pride? Your reputation?